20-11 - Phineas and Ferb Song Ranking

Introduction
300-251
250-201
200-151
150-101
100-76
75-51
Intermission
50-31
30-21

Continuation of Tier 3:

Songs Which Make for Themselves a Home Inside the Human Soul

20. I Love You Mom (from Mom’s Birthday)

        Allegedly, my friend’s little brother - and not so little, he was about 15 at the time - was obsessed with this song, to the point that he would drive his older sister crazy by playing it aloud, repeatedly, for hours. I always warn against overplaying a song, but that does not mean I fail to see the temptation. “I Love You Mom,” though it is not my favourite Phineas and Ferb song, is possibly the most addictive. Why is it that this song, more than practically any other, evokes such a desire to listen again and again and again? I will answer this question.

First of all, I made a very deliberate choice to embed the version from the episode rather than the album, despite the fact that this version includes some tiny pieces of dialogue on Phineas’s part, and some odd but situational Candace double-tracking. This video shows visually the growth that is, on the album, only heard. The growth is from Candace playing the bass and singing meandering lyrics in her bedroom, to a clearer rhythm after she steps on the stage with Phineas and Ferb, to an undeniable backbeat of affection at the very end. That the growth is not just musical, but that it adheres to the story, is a big reason why one is often compelled to listen to the whole thing repeatedly.

It can also not be ignored that this is one of very few instances, or maybe the only instance, in which there is such an explicit degree of self-awareness on Candace’s part, and such a truthful expression of love for her mom. It’s not just in the title. “The times I get kind of nervous,” she sings, “and forget to tell you how I feel.” The rarity of this kind of expression is acknowledged headfirst, and it’s one that many people can relate to. 

But the number one reason why this song is so restartable is the line: “Because you love me for who I am, I’ll always love you mom.” A part of it is the instrumentation, which gives ample room for Candace’s singing to shine through in its vulnerable glory. Another part of it is the melody, which shyly but decisively climbs up the tetrachord, resolving with total satisfaction. Above all that is the lyrics. Why does anyone love their parents? In most cases, a big reason is that their parents love them, for who they are. This is not just a gift from Candace to Linda, but a soul-bearing confession on Candace’s part, from a daughter who is proving that she’s more perceptive and appreciative than she often seems. And most people who know her well will desire to listen to the confession again just to believe it.

***

19. Happy New Year (from Happy New Year!)

New Year is my favourite holiday, and to be clear, the holiday itself is two days long, lasting all of December 31, the Final Day of the Year, through all of January 1, the First Day of the Year. And it’s a whole big deal of *taking inventory* and *stepping into the great unknown* and all that. And as is the case for nearly every holiday except Christmas, there aren’t many songs written about it! The main one everyone thinks about is Auld Lang Syne. That is, of course, until 2012, when television sets all over the planet were graced with the incredible “Happy New Year.”

I overlooked this song for a long time by mistakenly brushing it off as gimmicky. I assumed it must have been thrown together haphazardly and tokenistically for a corporate-mandated New Year special. I made the error of underestimating the CSWPF, and of assuming their pop song would not highlight in itself all of its greatest qualities. “It hasn’t been bad, more happy than sad, but I tell you I’m glad when I think about starting all over again.” I am generally one who is not fond of any rhymes involving ‘bad’ and ‘sad’ and ‘had’ and ‘mad’ and ‘glad’ and the like, but in terms of raw meaning, how could anyone better depict the bittersweetness of a new year than in that single line?

By the end of the pre-chorus, we hear “and we all know that time is fleeting,” with an unexpected movement up to the dominant. The final part of the line repeats, the dominant chord is prolonged for twice as long as we expect! The tension builds! What a brilliant decision to elongate the music at precisely the line which expresses the fleetingness of time! What a brilliant decision to allow for even more intense satisfaction when the chorus finally strikes!

“‘Cuz you know it’s a new year, it’s a brand new beginning, ‘nother three-sixty-five and the world keeps spinning.” The progression in the chorus is the lovely and propulsive I - V - ii - IV. In fact ‘lovely and propulsive’ also describes Olivia Olson’s vocal performance on one word in particular: ‘world,’ at 0:47. I’m not a trained singer, but I don’t think the word ‘vibrato’ really applies here, even though there’s some kind of driven shakiness to the note. Or maybe it just feels that way because it’s the only lyric on which there is a (much) higher harmony going on.

The whole fulfillment of the song is guaranteed when the chorus begins to repeat for a second time, leaving no musical stone unturned, and promising once more that ‘it’s gonna be a happy new year.’

***

18. Disco Miniature Golfing Queen (from Put That Putter Away)

Dan Povenmire said that they needed ‘a song that sounds like ABBA about miniature golf.’ As one does. This song is an emblem of the fact that the CSWPF, and the whole of the Phineas and Ferb crew, always goes the extra mile. It would have been so easy to write a song about mini golf. Watch. I’m gonna do it right now. ‘Use that golf club to hit that ball / if you’re two feet short or eight feet tall / it’s mini golf (mini golf.)’ That was so easy. I’m not even sweating. But it is also a million times worse than “Disco Miniature Golfing Queen.” 

Certain layers praise “S.I.M.P. (Squirrels in My Pants)” for how random and pointless it is, and how part of its charm is that it ‘didn’t even need to exist.’ By the same token, but on a higher level, what was the purpose for the disco element of “Disco Miniature Golfing Queen,” or the ‘queen’ element, for that matter? Narratively, there is hardly one. Its only purpose is to make the song better, and that it does.

You may notice one peculiar difference between the embedded episode version and the album version. Right in the midst of the extravagantly long intro, something typical of the disco style, there is a bar of 3/4, when Ferb performs a glissando at 0:28. This is not the case on the album. Did the episode have to be shortened by literally less than a second of run time? Were the animators unsure how to animate that single beat? Was someone just feeling a little extra funky? I won’t rule out the final option, because that single unforeseen bar of 3/4 is extremely funky, as if the horns and guitars and literally every single musical element already found in the intro weren’t funky enough.

For all intents and purposes, this song is 50% intro and 50% verse. There is no chorus, unless you consider the entire thing to be a chorus. But just like someone who is entirely submerged underwater is not wet, a song which is entirely chorus is not really chorus at all. Without falling again to the temptation of writing out roman numerals, I will express admiration for the fact that the phrases in the verse routinely begin with the dominant chord, and walk down a portion of the major scale, before landing on the tonic. I have no evidence to support this, but it sounds evocatively disco.

As a final point, it makes me personally very happy that Stacy, possibly the show’s most under-utilized character, is the beneficiary of only one song which is about her, and that it is nevertheless as good as it is.

Tier 2: Songs with Life-Changing Potential

17. Ducky Momo Is My Friend (from Nerds of a Feather)

It’s not a coincidence at all that this song has grown in popularity over time. It is a song about someone who is ‘too old’ to like something, who continues to like it anyway. All the children who watched Phineas and Ferb, like me, grow up, and now that they are no longer children, they are much more likely to enjoy something whose target audience is younger than them. Thus, the number of people who can relate to “Ducky Momo Is My Friend” on a personal level is constantly increasing. Simple maths.

It would have been so easy for the crew to make a mockery of Candace’s ‘dark, humiliating secret,’ and this fact allows for the sincerity of the song to be that much more impactful. In fact, the song bends over itself in an effort not to be very funny. ‘The world just points and laughs at me… the hidden girl who risked so much… but Ducky Momo’s still my friend.’ The chords? Normal. The main instrument? Guitar. Hotel? Trivago. The singer? LC Powell, who, and I do not at all mean this as an insult, does not have a voice which is naturally funny. On the contrary, it is naturally soothing and sentimental.

Whereas I have praised layered production on several occasions throughout this ranking, “Ducky Momo Is My Friend” gets points for having the capability of being a campfire song. It would not suffer at all from even less instrumentation. And above all, it gets better and better with age.

***

16. That Christmas Feeling (from Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation)

After having put much time and many listens into the creation of (most of) the instrumental track for M.W.C.A.'s version of "That Christmas Feeling," which starts quite delicately, the guitar and drum-heavy triplets which open the original version took me by surprise, just now, when I listened to it. It was the beginning of a 2-minute experience which reminds one of what music is capable. It was an experience in which I was totally locked into “That Christmas Feeling,” entirely focused on uncovering the maximum amount of arrangement details, hanging onto every note as if it were responsible for my overall well-being, almost ignorant of my surroundings, unable to break attention even if I wanted to, in a trance, etc. I’m sure that’s happened to you before; it happens to everyone now and then. It just happened to me.

My favourite Christmas song is Tom Petty’s Christmas All Over Again, partly for the way it acknowledges some of the dreadful aspects of the Christmas season without having an explicitly hostile attitude towards them. But out of all the purely happy Christmas songs, which constitutes the vast majority of them, “That Christmas Feeling” belongs in the very top tier, with the likes of Step Into Christmas and Santa Claus Is Coming to Town and Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.

“That Christmas Feeling” works so well as a pocket of music because it includes in itself a slew of other smaller pockets, which are all connected to each other. ‘We’re hanging the star above our tree, and don’t it look lovely,’ is a small pocket, which includes the famous III-IV resolution about which I raved in my review of “Tatooine.” ‘The lights and the tinsel sparkling for you,’ is another small pocket, carrying similarity to the first pocket in the first chord motion, the I to the vi, but carrying difference to the first pocket in its next chord motion, the perhaps unforeseen but unquestionably more standard IV to V. Much like in “Tatooine,” our expectations are subverted by something that is *normal,* but this time it’s jammed into the first fifteen seconds!

It’s often said that the key to interesting harmony is to make interesting as many individual harmony lines as possible. The CSWPF clearly had this advice on their mind regarding “That Christmas Feeling.” It is thoroughly dense in counter-melody and harmony, starting with the xylophone in the chorus, which is the closest the song ever gets to an explicitly Christmassy sound. Att ‘hang all the stockings in a row with you,’ Olivia harmonizes with herself in what is essentially a one-off, a token of variation which makes it even less likely for one to become disinterested.

But this is all a build to 0:56, when one of the greatest guitar solos of all time begins. And it begins with its most aggressive part. Low, buzzy, noisy triplets, as if to say: ‘I’m here! It’s guitar time and how do you like that!’ It cuts deep into a listener’s brain with its timbre, and with its mix of established melody and new grace notes. And best of all, it carries on when it’s over. ‘I got the Christmas feeling,’ sings Olivia, as Danny Jacob continues to shred, with a perfect instinct for when to slam the root of a chord and when to avoid it. In short, he demonstrates a perfect instinct for which notes to play.

The guitar returns to its status as a complementary piece as the song approaches its conclusion: ‘Let’s make that Christmas feeling grow, oh!’ (and what a great ‘oh!’ it is.) In reflecting on why the song is so special, I come to the realization that the song doesn’t ever tell you what that Christmas feeling even is. It just assumes that the listener already knows, and it assumes so correctly. Phineas and Ferb never talks down to its audience regarding humour or fancy vocabulary, and likewise, it never tells them what Christmas is all about either.

***

15. Aerial Area Rug (from Magic Carpet Ride)

Now that we have broken into the top fifteen, I see no reason not to take a more free-flowing approach with regards to naming individual members of the CSWPF. “Aerial Area Rug” was written by Dan, Swampy, Martin Olson, and Robert Lopez. To this point, I owe a debt to this song's fandom page. It provided for me a quote from Robert Lopez about this number:

“We wrote that in under two hours, and that was a really long time for Dan, Swampy, and Martin.” There are several key pieces of information to be drawn from this.

First of all, this confirms what I already wrote about in the introduction. The CSWPF was delivering a constant rush order, to the point where spending nearly two hours writing a song was notable enough that Robert Lopez made a point to mention it. And secondly, I want to compare this to “Perry the Platypus Theme,” which is known for having been written in an extremely short amount of time, almost a stream of consciousness. Some musicians fall into the camp of extreme spontaneity. They might claim that the best pieces are those which flow out of one’s mind like a stream of water, and that any work which is meticulously readjusted, or which comes about slowly, is impure. Some may fall into the opposite camp, and claim that true art is that which is created painstakingly. In fact, it is important not to bend the stick too far in either direction. As we can see when comparing “Perry the Platypus Theme” to “Aerial Area Rug,” there is no infallible recipe for great music.

With that having been said, it is very easy to tell from looking at “Aerial Area Rug” that extra work was invested into its glory. I draw another quote from the fandom page, this one by Martin Olson: “The song is a satire of a breathless Disneyesque inspirational song, but (...) is a beautiful and fun song aside from the satire.” Despite his hesitancy to mention A Whole New World by name, he makes a completely correct analysis of his own music. One who has never even heard of Aladdin could easily garner maximum enjoyment from “Aerial Area Rug.” The harmonic twists and turns whip out all the staples of grandeur, from major supertonics to minor subdominants, all weaponized in the proper spots. And above all, it is very easy to see that the song could have ended after the first chorus, at which point it would have been just over a minute long, not at all atypical for a Phineas and Ferb song. But Dan, Swampy, Martin, and Robert collectively decided to fly higher, commit to a slightly more thorough workflow, and extend the song by nearly 40 seconds. ‘It’s a brand new perspective, literally,’ Aaron Jacob sings in the first line in the bridge. Seconds later, the key changes, and we hear the chorus one final time. It’s all worth it if just for that final note, grasped only by Aaron’s desperate reaches into the sky. It’s not a braggy, showy note, but, it is an impressive note, which is the logical conclusion of a song about being in the sky, and of a melody which had already been characterized by big steps.

***

14. City of Love (from Summer Belongs to You)

        The first time I went to Paris was in 2008, the second time was in 2013, and the third time was in 2022, and I can confirm that, apart from the famous stuff, like the Eiffel Tower and the Champs-Élysées, this song, or specifically its video, includes several other incredible details which are accurate to Paris. My favourite one occurs at 0:40, when Isabella sings ‘In the city of love’ for the first time, as she looks onto the Seine River and watches a cartoonized version of a Bateau Mouche float on by. Not to brag, but I, too, have looked onto the Seine River and watched a Bateau Mouche float by. I am just like Isabella.

All the careful attention paid to the animation here is not coincidental. It is symptomatic of all the careful attention paid to every detail of “City of Love.” The mission was to craft a song which impeccably evokes the city of Paris, and Isabella’s sadness, simultaneously. The mission was an emphatic success, starting with the tasty guitar lick at 0:06. 

Likewise, much of the song strolls back and forth between the I chord and the IV chord. This is how a lot of time in the verses is spent, and this is how the choruses are spent. In typical Parisian fashion, it is the melody which does so much heavy lifting. The contour’s trend in the verse is one of stepping up and then stepping back down, like a rainbow. The melody in the chorus consists less of ‘trends’ and more of specific notes: 3, 3, 2, 1, 6, 1. It would have been very easy to replace the 6th degree with the 5th, or the 7th, to add some kind of dominant texture to the mix. But this is just a sad little girl, resigning herself to disappointment, walking around Paris. There is no tension to be had here.

At times, I have wondered whether there should exist a version of this song without Phineas’s vocal interruptions, and whether that would be better. I have wondered at the same time whether the long gaps between Isabella’s lines in the verses should be reduced from four bars long to two. Such a decision would undermine the point of “City of Love.” This is a leisurely walk. A stroll, if you will. There is time to take a big breath as we stroll from one line to the next. We should take a moment to relax and enjoy it.

***

13. Brand New Best Friend (from Across the 2nd Dimension)

(song starts at 0:18)

In late 2019 or early 2020, I watched Across the 2nd Dimension for the first time in many years, and “Brand New Best Friend” struck me especially hard, reaching into the corners of my memories. And I was infatuated with the song for the next few weeks, mostly thanks to its music. Besides the ‘twice the evil’ section at the very end of the song, there are three musical sections, which I have intentionally not referred to as ‘distinctive.’ The verse progression: (D - G - Gm - D,) the pre-chorus progression: (A - - - Bm - G - D,) and the chorus progression: (Bm - G - D - A,) all flow into each other with such intention and grace that it would be incorrect to call them ‘distinctive’ from one another. Indeed, the transitions from one section to the next are the most exemplary part of the crafting of “Brand New Best Friend.”

Point of articulation number one! 0:46-0:48 of the video: ‘I’ve been alone all these years.’ We move out of the verse progression with a bar of 2/4, and with a dominant chord, ‘A-major,’ which we have not heard before. Two smooth differentiations.

Point of articulation number two! This one certainly adheres more closely to the definition of a ‘point.’ It happens right at 1:00, on the second syllable of ‘agree.’ The pre-chorus progression is only part-way through its second repetition, and it cuts itself off to land on the B-minor chord at the start of the phrase: ‘I’ve found a brand new best friend, and it’s me!’ In fact, the progression in the pre-chorus and the chorus are made up of the same chords in the same order, just with a different starting point, and with different rhythmic values.

Point of articulation number three! Eight seconds later, after having resolved to the B-minor a few times in a row, the chorus resolves to D-major, with perfect logic, and naturally leading back into the progression of the verse, starting the whole process over again. It will repeat with subtle variations, and some not-so-subtle variations, including the two Doofenshmirtz playing mallets on some kind of skeleton. It’s not only appealing visually, as Doof #1 sticks his head through the bones and shouts ‘oh wee ooh!’ mimicking the guitar lick, but musically, adding a new rhythmic propulsion and high timbre to the arrangement, somehow reminiscent of Margaritaville. And of course, we get to see the Doofs cosplay as even more duos, like Eggs & Bacon and Phineas & Ferb, in addition to John & Paul, Simon & Garfunkel, and Laverne & Shirley.

It would be wrong of me not to mention the Lorenzo Lamas cameo, but all I can say is that it’s remarkably funny. Likewise, it would be wrong of me not to acknowledge the perfect means by which “Brand New Best Friend” is integrated into Across the 2nd Dimension. Let’s not forget that Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s best friend, prior to this moment, is a platypus who beats him up daily. The raw elation expressed through this song, and shown at 1:55 when Doof #1 raises his hands in the air like a child, is completely called for.

***

12. My Cruisin' Sweet Ride (from My Sweet Ride)

Dan Povenmire, Martin Olson, Robert F. Hughes, Michael Diederich, and Chris Headrick proved themselves to be masters of greaser-shoo-bee-doo-wop with this one song. What is the purpose of the genre? Of a song in the genre? Why are songs like “My Cruisin’ Sweet Ride” and Summer Nights and Fallin' for Ya and Cruisin' for a Bruisin'  beloved so universally? Is it nostalgia? That can’t be. Nostalgia tends to impact those who were actually around at a point of something’s popularity. Could it be that, despite changes to the superstructure of society, the adolescent experience is not so fundamentally different today than it was in the 1950s, and thus, the art which touched the souls of teenagers 60 to 70 years ago will touch the souls of teenagers in 2023 in a similar fashion? I think so.

Could it be that the youth’s yearning for freedom has never ceased to be best characterized by a car? And could it be that people of all ages, as young as Phineas or as middle-aged as Linda, Heinz, and Vivian, can relate to or remember this feeling? And could it be that their collective involvement in a song about a cool car, which ends with Jeremy and Candace driving off romantically into the sunset is the most aggressively greaser shoo-bee-doo-wop moment ever put to cartoon? I think so.

11. Do Nothing Day (from The Best Lazy Day Ever)

A song which many seem to think is forgettable, perhaps citing its apparent - and I stress the word ‘apparent’ - lack of narrative content, is actually a gorgeous, rainbowesque outlier from Phineas and Ferb’s seemingly incessant calls to action. In the midst of their do-nothing-day, Phineas and Ferb can’t even be bothered to sing; leave it to Jeremy and the Incidentals.

The opening drum fill, if the world were perfectly just, would go down as one of the most recognizable openings of all time, just like the first strums of Hotel California or the arhythmic noodlings which open Piano Man. Four sixteenth notes followed by two eighths. It’s as if the drums themselves are trying to move from a state of motion to relaxation! And that fill is the extent of the introduction.

Remember the compliments I paid to the lyrics of song #32, “Sunshine and Bubble Gum” and increase them by a thousand for “Do Nothing Day.” They are funny in their attempts to elicit the most tame and non-controversial feelings of joy which they can, but they are earnest in their attempt to do so. They are not repetitive. “Beautiful, kind and gentle and loving and softness and sweetness and candy and gum. Peppermint and pink flowers and bunnies and happy songs we can all hum.” Here we see laid before us why the amalgamation of happy items is executed with utter perfection: its conclusion is something sincere: “Happy songs we can all hum.” This portion of the line proves that we are not merely messing around; we are serious about the laid-back joy about which we sing.

Amidst that first line, might I add, we are introduced to a mix which rivals, or maybe even surpasses, that of “Ain’t Got Rhythm.” Across the first half of it, there is nothing but vocals, drums, and acoustic guitar, all of which are clearly heard, and are strong standalone elements. But I must pay special attention to the bass guitar, which makes itself known at 0:09, with a glissando of which Paul McCartney himself would be wise to be envious. While this is all going on, the chords are generally moving in a ii-V-I rotation, and what a smart move it is to begin each phrase with a minor chord. The entire piece depicts a shift from agitation to relaxation, all the way down to the harmonic elements, which agitate and relax themselves accordingly.

“Draw a smiley face on the sun, it’s fun,” sings Jeremy in the pre-chorus, and what do we hear in the measure leading into the chorus but the same delicious drum fill which opened the song. Danny Jacob’s backup vocals and summery electric guitar take on a new life in the chorus. How could a melody so lively evoke such a desire to slow down, look around oneself, and throw one’s to-do list away? I try to analyze and answer these questions to the best of my ability, but I am at a loss.

In the second verse, we encounter new terms like “safety” and “laughter,” and best of all, in the most grounded way: “no place where we have to go.” And in the final chorus, we hear Candace join in, taking some of the burden of backup vocals off of Danny Jacob’s shoulders. Like the first chorus, this second chorus lands on a minor chord on the line “on a do-nothing day,” but unlike the first verse, this one delivers on the promise of a perfect conclusion. An acoustic guitarist plucks a note at a time, getting progressively slower as it gets progressively closer to doing nothing. Candace and Jeremy sing “our do-nothing,” and on the final word, “day,” they walk from the fourth scale degree, to the third, and then, when we might expect them to walk down to the second before walking down to the first, they slide right on through the second, exactly like a weary proletarian may flop down on their bed after a hard day at work. The song, if I may be given permission to personify it, had decided that it had worked hard enough on depicting the wonders of a do-nothing day, and rushed through its final declaration so that it could get a chance to rest as well. I do not use the word ‘perfection’ willy-nilly, but with regards to this song’s opening and closing moments, the term applies.

So after all that, why did I call the lack of narrative content in “Do Nothing Day” only ‘apparent,’ i.e. ‘not real,’ i.e. there actually is narrative content? Previously in this countdown, I praised this show’s use of television. Phineas and Ferb are not obsessed with it by any stretch, but they enjoy a good show or movie every now and then, and they almost always draw inspiration from the media they consume. The Best Lazy Day Ever, and specifically, “Do Nothing Day,” apply this principle to the idea of rest. Even Phineas and Ferb, who wake up way too early every day and bend the laws of nature to their will, need to take a breather, in order to rejuvenate themselves and bounce back better than ever before.

Top 10 coming in 2 weeks.