75-51 - Phineas and Ferb Song Ranking

Introduction
300-251
250-201
200-151
150-101
100-76

Continuation of Tier 5: Songs Which Slap or Equivalent

75. Perfect Day (from Interview with a Platypus)

It’s “Perfect Day.” It’s in the mid-70s.

**

74. Follow the Sun (from Summer Belongs to You)

‘Light’ and ‘darkness’ and ‘following the light’  and ‘tripping a little light fantastic’ or whatever is a very common literary theme. But the classics are classics for a reason. And when the express purpose of an episode is quite literally to follow the light, i.e., the sun, there’s no better time to whip out the cliches. The opening section is a little wonky, but it only takes us 13 seconds to get to the juicy pre-chorus, which opens with a minor chord: ‘Some say summer’s always fading away, but we don’t have to say goodbye today.’ One-off melancholic anomaly lines about the slow slipping away of the summer days may soon become an artful pattern on this list. Sure, summer will end eventually, but for now, why not stretch it out as long as we can?

**

73. Mom, Look (from Rollercoaster: The Musical)

“But Alex,” you say, “I thought you were a detractor of Rollercoaster: The Musical! I thought you found its music-ification of the show’s most formulaic plot points to be, at best, boring.” In most instances this is true. But “Mom, Look” has a few qualities which are not held by the likes of “Whatcha Doin’?” “Back in Gimmelshtump,” and even “Aren’t You a Little Young?” Mainly, it is good. Its chord progression veers off smoothly in unforeseen directions which make sense nonetheless, like the unexpected motion to the III chord at 0:13, instead of the expected IV. Secondly, it is not a waste of time content-wise. Candace constantly begs her mom to ‘look’ in an excessive and sometimes verbose way. Her pleas are brash and arguably abrasive, mirrored perfectly in a punchy song like this one. This is in contrast to “Whatcha Doin’?” a catchphrase which is fleeting and delicate by nature, and which therefore suffers incredibly from being stretched artificially into a musical number.

**

72. A Little Bit of Home on the Road (from Road Trip)

The Phineas and Ferb crew didn’t slow production of their episodes while they were working on Across the 2nd Dimension, leading to an extremely intense work schedule. With Road Trip being the last episode of the show to air before the movie, it makes sense that its song would be all about “tak(ing) a break from hauling that load.” The CSWPF dug right into a simple country feel, and the result is a song which, appropriately, comes across as though it was written very quickly, in a relaxed mindset, maybe even scribbled on a notepad while eating breakfast at a truck stop. Moves to the relative minor on ‘wash your hands’ at 0:17 and ‘down like wet cement’ at 1:07 make the returns back to the ‘home’ chord of C major that much more gratifying. And the bridge, in which Danny Jacob sounds a little bit like Weird Al, culminates in the song's best moment, the elongated crispness of “we sure know where it’s at!”

**

71. What Might Have Been (from Act Your Age, or better yet, the M.W.C.A. Cast Album)

I have tried to limit my M.W.C.A.-bias as much as possible throughout this ranking process, but I have resigned myself to the fact that doing such a thing with regards to “What Might Have Been” would have not only been impossible, but also irresponsible. In some ways, I see the M.W.C.A. version of this song as the essential one. Is this because the instrumental track is better? With respect to the excellent work of PyF Music, that is not the reason. Is this because the vocal performances are better? With respect to my friends, the incredibly talented Zach Timson and Tami Rosales, that is also not the reason. Much like a bowl of ice cream would improve tremendously if, from it, ketchup were removed, the members of the M.W.C.A. team made a very easy, but infinitely valuable decision to remove Phineas and Vivian’s dialogue from “What Might Have Been.” The momentum of the song is therefore not abruptly interrupted! How novel! I asked the server whose idea it was, and although Tami said she ‘just really wanted a proper soundtrack cover of it, meaning just song and no dialogue,’ she also said that she ‘doesn’t remember if it was something we both decided.’ Clearly, this decision was easy enough that it seems to have gone without saying.

Not to mention, Isabella’s airy sigh, followed by a spoken “what might have been” at the very end are also tastefully omitted. Such simple but key decisions allow the listener to focus on the song’s many redeeming qualities! “What Might Have Been” captures the spirit of Phineas and Isabella’s respective heartache in a much more effective way than the rest of Act Your Age does, and even Dan Povenmire himself has said that this was one of the most gratifying songs to write in the entire show’s run! Isabella’s verse, followed by Phineas’s verse, followed by a verse in which they more or less alternate lines, all provide the perfect foundation for a final section in which they sing simultaneously. The harmonies are equal parts satisfying and inventive, especially on the tightening up from sixths to thirds on Phineas’s upward leap: “all you had to say was when.”

**

70. Bouncin' Around the World (from Summer Belongs to You)

As a noted Love Handel Skeptic, my fondness for “Bouncin’ Around the World” might come as a slight surprise to some. The formal logicians might gasp. Let them gasp! The success of “Bouncin’ Around the World” can be primarily attributed to the fact that its chromatic guitar riff is the perfect musical representation of a bouncy ball. The guitar has a rubbery timbre, and the contour is marked by intermittent and perhaps unforeseen leaps downward. On this foundation is built a song along to which one is tempted not to dance, but to jump. And this is sprinkled with sentimentality on the glide over to the supertonic, a minor chord, at 0:47, on the wistful line: “I wish that we could stay and have some fun, but we gotta keep chasing the sun.” I have probably given twice as much thought to this line as whichever songwriter came up with it in the first place. What is the purpose of such fleeting longing in the context of Summer Belongs to You? Smash That Comment Below Button Below If U Know.

**

69. We're Back (from Candace Against the Universe)

Dan Povenmire and Jeff “Swampy” Marsh wrote this song by themselves, over Zoom, in 2020. The horns and strings were recorded by musicians in Germany, so Dan and Swampy had to be awake at 3:00 AM in order to digitally oversee the ongoings over the sea. And the Phineas and Ferb crew went the extra mile for this promotional video, re-animating the characters’ faces from the show’s previous scenes. The fact that such unique efforts were put into this metafictional extracurricular project makes it all the more special, and for the same reason, the emotional highlights of the song may be Candace and Doofenshmirtz’s respective exclamations of “I’m back!”

**

68. Quirky Worky Song (from a lot of episodes)

The greatest compliment I can give to this song is that I am expecting its first appearance in the reboot to be my first time tearing up while watching said reboot.

**

67. Just the Two of Us (from Canderemy)

Paul McCartney wrote Two of Us as a love song about him and his wife Linda, but a certain layer of Beatles fans have decided to ignore this fact and interpret it as a song about the friendship of John and Paul. Likewise, “Just the Two of Us” is about Candace and Stacy, but I often deliberately take it out of context and imagine it to be a song about the brotherly bond of Phineas and Ferb, who increasingly in the later seasons, are constantly spending time with their friends Isabella, Baljeet, and Buford. There’s nothing wrong with this, but they could use a little more one-on-one time! To serve their purposes better, the song would likely have to adjust the line: “I always want it to stay just the two of us,” but apart from that, the song’s silky swung rhythm and frequent use of the minor subdominant help it come across as a beacon for intimate bonding and relaxation.

**

66. Floor After Floor (from The Doof Side of the Moon)

On the famous Waterloo trip of September 2022, on which the yet-to-be-released Chop Away at My Heart ZABA music video was filmed, Andrew Grabowski would often drive Zach Timson, Agraj Joshi, Ben Cross, and me from one location to another, in his car, while we listened to music from Phineas and Ferb. On one of these occasions, the particular song which arose in the shuffle was “Floor After Floor,” and we all agreed that it was underrated, but we didn’t all agree on why. Zach said he was especially fond of the first section, which takes up most of the song, but was not as much of a fan of the second section, the ‘floor after floor,’ section. At the time, my opinion was precisely opposite this, but my mind was changed several months later when I came across this demo version. In it, a group which sounds bigger than it likely is gives off the impression that it slowly and drunkenly but wholesomely stumbles through a song which is likely hot off the presses, building it up from the ground. “Keep on building,” they sing, as one more countermelody is thrown into the mix with the utmost caution; without such, the entire infrastructure of the song could come crashing down. And by the time the song was ready to air, the interlocking layers are placed on top of one another with as much ease as Phineas and Ferb place one floor on top of another while building their building. “Floor after floor after ceiling, carry the load!” floats on top of the rest of them with such incredible serenity. The culminating final 40 seconds or so are still nice, but I must admit, the process of building up to it is much more rewarding.

**

65. Silhouettes (from Candace Against the Universe)

The distinct musical styles of Candace Against the Universe are again put forward in “Silhouettes,” starting with that weird lawn mower effect whose name I don’t know, which we heard already in “The Universe Is Against Me.” The reflection of the grandeur of the infinite depths of space does not stop there, however. The chord change at 0:25, landing on the downbeat alongside the introduction of the strings, is a chilling moment with its subtextual spacey creepiness, and this sensation is only augmented by the chords which immediately follow. The exact same phenomenon is observable at 0:56, moments after the song’s greatest line: “Nothing really tops this visual synopsis.” Of course, I also feel inclined to mention that this song’s lyrical style was my greatest inspiration for Another Credits Song, a style which was then, in turn, ripped off from me.

**

64. Big Honkin' Hole in My Heart (from Bully Bromance Breakup)

Song Which Is All About Baljeet and Buford #2 is now gracing the countdown, and it bears the entire emotional weight of their relationship, across the entire show. Quite the heavy task, but it succeeds! I - V - vi - IV is one of the most common chord progressions that there is, so what makes it work so well in “Big Honkin’ Hole in My Heart?” For one, the intro borders on atonal, making the establishment of a key a little sweeter. The CSWPF made this song as absolutely sincerely heartfelt as they possibly could have, depicting the authentic respect and love that Baljeet and Buford have for each other, even going so far as to make Baljeet cry actual tears. But this emotionality is balanced out by the fact that it’s funny that they like each other so much.

**

63. Fish Out of Water (from Voyage to the Bottom of Buford)

Here is another song in which Buford is sad. If I weren’t there already, I am officially at the point in the countdown where I am frustrated by having to rank songs I certifiably love, behind others which I love a little more. In other words, I wish I could put 65 songs in the top 50. As far as harmonic and melodic material, few songs rival “Fish Out of Water.” Its melody is quite syllabic at times, but every note selection is rich, starting with the downward leap at 0:08 ‘I dump you in the tub,’ and deserving a shoutout again at the runs up and down the tetrachord at 0:27 ‘It needs to get to you somehow.’ When Beverley Staunton sings ‘But you’re the only one for me’ at 0:38, a first-time listener can be forgiven for thinking we are approaching resolution to a major chord and the end of the song, but instead, we are met with a cadence whose deceptiveness would be difficult to beat. We circle around the contour one final time before resolving to the tonic at the end of ‘I’m hooked, please throw a line to me.’ Why then, despite my passionate praising of the musical elements at play in “Fish Out of Water,” have I ranked it only at #63? An unsatisfying answer would be the unsustained block chords, stricken by a pianist on nearly every beat, sounding almost like a toy piano. A more satisfying answer would be that this utilization of the piano is actually a manifestation of another (relatively small) issue with the song. At this juncture in season one, Buford was still seen as little more than a bully, and in Voyage of the Bottom of Buford, the audience is not meant to feel bad for him any more than we are meant to laugh at him. To include, even subtly or subconsciously, an element of instrumentation which reminds the listener that we should not *actually* be invested in Buford’s sadness, unfortunately prevents the listener from investing fully in the arousal of affections which they may seek.

**

62. Meatloaf (from Meatloaf Surprise)

I literally could not care less about Wonderwall. Does Wonderwall open with the words: “ground beef?” Does Wonderwall’s first chorus open emphatically with a minor chord, despite the fact that its second chorus opens with the even more emphatic relative major, cleverly making the listener wonder retroactively if the first chorus was even a chorus at all? Do Candace and Stacy dance like ill octopi in the Wonderwall music video? I do not know what the answers to any of these questions are, because again, I literally could not care less about Wonderwall.

**

61. Kick It Up a Notch (from Across the 2nd Dimension)

Like “Robot Riot,” this one was a late riser, but it didn’t have nearly as far to rise. The most notable thing about this song is, of course, that it was co-written by Slash, and that Slash plays guitar on it, and that Phineas acknowledges Slash by name at 2:11. Unironically, I do believe that this song’s closest spiritual relative is “We’re Back.” Both are songs which speak to the audience directly without even a touch of irony. “We’re Back” says ‘We have a new movie coming out soon, and you should watch it.’ “Kick It Up a Notch” says ‘That movie, and our entire show has been pretty good, right? Just watch. We’re gonna kick it up a notch.’ Whether the quality of Phineas and Ferb from after Across the 2nd Dimension onward was actually superior to its quality prior is irrelevant here; as a piece of promotional material and musical invigoration, what other sentiment could have competed with this one? Notches are not the only things up which it is being kicked. Timely and smooth key changes up a full tone characterize most choruses, on the backs of chord progressions which are far more detailed and thorough than the mediocre rock entries from the early stages of this list.

**

60. I Walk Away (from Across the 2nd Dimension)

This song’s similarities to “Fish Out of Water” are striking, although the viewer is likely more invested emotionally in Phineas, Ferb, and Perry than in Buford and Biff. The praise I am inclined to heap onto the fabrication and this melody would not be thorough enough if I did not dive into each detail, from the leap down to the leading tone and right back up to the dominant on ‘from you my friend,’ to the fact that the dominant chord on ‘seize the day’ is overlined by a melody which includes no notes of the dominant chord at all! It’s as if the song is being softly pulled apart and pushed back together. Vanessa is of course absent from Across the 2nd Dimension, but Olivia Olson couldn’t have asked for a better vocal cameo than this.

**

59. What Do It Do? (from What Do It Do?)

“What Do It Do?” is a song which somehow sounds exactly like Jessie’s Girl and nothing at all like Jessie’s Girl. Canonically, they were released within a year of each other, so the similarities shouldn’t come as a total shock. If you read my last post, you’ll remember that I gave “Improbably Knot” a lot of credit for its topical randomness, and I am about to do the same regarding “What Do It Do?” Here is a machine whose purpose is unknown; it could be anything! Does it not make sense that all possibilities should be considered, even ones which seem zany? Ones to do with whether or not it cares when the books are due to the library? Ones to do with wiping the brows of bongo players? Swampy has never sounded so in his element as a singer than here, posing as the frontman for an 80s rock band, singing a song about reverse engineering. Phineas and Ferb are feeling the groove too, performing some fun little kicky twisty wristy dance moves.

**

58. Impress My Professor (from Oil on Candace)

Much like “One Good Scare” is by far the Halloweeniest song from Phineas and Ferb despite the fact that it’s not my favourite Halloween song from Phineas and Ferb, “Impress My Professor” is not my favourite Broadway-Doofenshmirtz song from Phineas and Ferb, but it is by far the Broadway-Doofenshmirtziest. The chorus girls are par for the course, but Doofenshmirtz starts out under a single spotlight, before somehow, via crossfade, appearing on an actual stage. He’s got his cane, he’s got his show-hat, he’s even put together a little program for Perry! Something he’s only done one other time. And just like a showtune, there are two abrupt tempo changes built in, even though the song is only 75 seconds long. First, the main tempo is established at 0:15, then, starting at 0:40, things are drastically slowed, and the tiered stage is dramatically unveiled. The accelerando back to the main speed is gradual, but it has been achieved entirely by the time Doofenshmirtz exclaims his final statement: “I must impress my professor, I must impress my professor, I must impress my professor before it’s too late!” Here, I am reminded of the fact that Doofenshmirtz still has an accent at this point in season one, because on the second repetition of the line, as Dan Povenmire struggles with the high notes, I can hear his real voice break through for a half a second, and in the thick of the intense, elaborate drama, it’s charming rather than disappointing. Heinz had never been this flamboyant, and he, at least so far, never was again.

**

57. Humiliating Stimblegump Dance of Contrition (from One Good Turn)

        56. Drusselstein Driving Test Waltz (from The Doonkelberry Imperative)

It was hair-splitting for me to decide which of these waltzes about invented regions in Eastern Europe sung by Aaron Jacob in a fake German accent I prefer. With regards to melody and harmony, I have to give the slight edge to “Humiliating Stimblegump Dance of Contrition.” It includes an ideal blend of stepwise motion and large leaps, constantly repeating, but repeatedly recontextualized with different chords. The best example of this is on ‘Then he will know you’re a mensch,’ on which we come across a deceptive cadence where at the adjacent points in the song, there’s been a perfect cadence. According to this song’s fandom wiki page, it’s in the style of an Austrian waltz, and I could very easily see it being arranged as such for an orchestra. Despite all this, I have given the small nod overall to “Drusselstein Driving Test Waltz,” but with a caveat: I am giving the small nod to the version of the song found in The Doonkelberry Imperative, *not* the version on the soundtrack, which strips away all the sound effects. In the episode, the car which Doofenshmirtz drives frequently runs into posts and slams into the ground and such, not only accentuating the comedic tone of dangerous chaos, but doing so while creating funky percussive accents! ‘Turn, yield, halt,’ sings Aaron Jacob, and the doinks of the signage strike on the second beat of each bar of the waltz. To take this key element out of the song would be to take the sugar out of the birthday cake. The coffee splashes Perry, the citizens shout, and things ramp up just as Perry begins to write his will. The rhyming scheme gets quicker and more intense, and satisfyingly, the situational percussion lands on the downbeats only one time: at the end, when the car slams into the ground at precisely the opportune times on: ‘dangerous Drusselstein driving test waltz!’ Aaron Jacob sells the ending exceptionally well, and despite my lack of theme park knowledge, I have decided that the next Phineas and Ferb-themed ride at Disney World should be Drusselstein Driving Test-themed.

Tier 4: Songs Which Are Spectacular

55. Brand New Reality (from Across the 2nd Dimension)

This song should be taught in schools as an incredible example of explicit storytelling through the musical elements. As Phineas and the gang hop through dimensions, moving in a matter of moments from one world to another to another to another to another, the underscore, “Brand New Reality” has built in key changes at the end of almost every line. Or should I say, mode changes, since the verses are always in one mixolydian mode or another, practically begging the song to switch tonalities again. Perhaps there was a missed opportunity to throw in a line about a ‘brand new tonality.’

**

54. Big Ginormous Airplane (from De Plane! De Plane!)

It found itself atop The 2nd Dimension’s Top 10 Underrated Phineas and Ferb Songs Redux, and for good reason. ‘This one doesn’t have anything particularly special about it, necessarily,’ says Jonathan, despite the fact he is clearly extremely fond of it. I agree completely with his sentiments, and I will try to articulate them. Sometimes a song’s greatest quality, or most notable calling card, is that it is heartily and wholeheartedly non-offensive, in every aspect of its existence, in every detail, large and small, all the way from its surface to its core. “Big Ginormous Airplane” is easy breezy beautiful, and devoid of any conflict needing to be resolved, exactly like an ideal flight should be. This song also bears one of the most interesting ​​demos from the entire show, in which we can see that the lyrics, and even the structure of the song were at one point significantly revamped.

**

53. My Undead Mummy and Me (from Are You My Mummy?)

"Big Ginormous Airplane" is 'non-offensive,' but "My Undead Mummy and Me" is even *less* offensive, and I mean that as a total compliment. It's no wonder that this instrumental track was recycled so often by the Phineas and Ferb crew for mood-setting purposes. The bright guitar. and the easygoing whole steps up the scale and back down encapsulate another 'easy breezy beautiful' summer day better than almost anything. The 'he's no dummy' spoken lines account for my only complaint; every other aspect of this sixty seconds of music sit at the top of the heap in terms of songs which put one at peace.

**

52. Gotta Make Summer Last (from several episodes)

51. If Summer Only Lasted One Day (from Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror)

Once again, I must rank two songs more or less together. They are both incredibly short. Some might say too short. I spent a swath of time one evening in recent memory helplessly scouring the internet for something *more* regarding “Gotta Make Summer Last.” For a demo, for a longer version, for a clean version without the joyful squeals of children in the background, or rather, in the foreground. I was luckless. But how could that be? The song sounds just like a chorus! It drops you right onto the dominant of the relative minor before you even realize where you are! How is it that a song which is like 18 seconds long could weaponize retroactive tonality? Is this really all there is? The answer is: ‘of course.’ ‘Every eighty-six-thousand-four-hundred seconds that pass, gotta make summer last.’ The joys of summer are contrasted with a call to action. You better make it last. And every time this song is heard in Phineas and Ferb, the characters are going down a slide, or a slide-like contraption. Zooming down, flying by, just like summer days are wont to do. I could use the words ‘wistful’ and ‘nostalgic’ to describe “Gotta Make Summer Last,” but they would be better served to describe “If Summer Only Lasted One Day.” Sure, there are 104 days of summer vacation, and Phineas and Ferb are primed to make the most of every one of them. But Phineas and Ferb would have this approach whether summer vacation lasted for a thousand days, or just for one.

There are two versions of “If Summer Only Lasted One Day.” First is the one I’ve embedded, split up into two separate fragments in Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror, which may not even appear to be part of the same song to a casual listener. Second is this demo, which I discovered on October 2, 2022. In feverish excitement, I brought it to the attention of the M.W.C.A. Discord server, saying ‘HAVE YALL EVER HEARD THIS??? THE MISSING LINE OF SUMMER ONLY LASTED ONE DAY! THE LYRICS ARE INDECIPHERABLE! BUT THERE WAS INTENDED COHESION BETWEEN THE TWO LINES THAT PLAY EARLY IN THE EPISODE AND THE ONE THAT PLAYS LATER! AND NOW I KNOW WHAT IT IS!” Sam Saper and I proceeded to piece it together. ‘Ride the pipeline, in the sunshine, and watch the dolphins play.’ Turns out it’s not so indecipherable after all! Does this mean we now have a complete version of the song? No. Listen to that sloppy demo. Does that sound complete to you? But listen to the polished version! It’s literally missing a line! I guess if Phineas and Ferb can imagine being satisfied with a summer that only lasts one day, as they lean against the tree and listen to the radio and laugh like little kids, maybe I can be satisfied with a tiny song whose complete version will always be just out of reach.

To be continued.